she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
