Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
