i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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