Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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