pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
