Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm always down for nudity.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
