I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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