i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You were trust falling into bushes
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
