I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Randomize
