If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
