i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
