yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
