Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Even my vagina gasped.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
This baby is an asshole
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
