He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
