I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
