I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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