Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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