Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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