I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I could fuck to npr.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
