TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
