This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
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