My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
