she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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