tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
The chlamydia really affected his face.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
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