so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
