how can u be prego again
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
