You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
