Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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