I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
