do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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