How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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