Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
