who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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