I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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