I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
