And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
