Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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