I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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