I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
