We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
