White coat. Heels.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
