Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
