KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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