When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
