he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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