i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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