i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
