It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
