THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize