FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
