i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
