the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize
