Its about making memories worth repressing
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
